How Families Can Turn Conflict into Collaboration

Tsitsi Mutendi
Nov 5
3 min read

The Kente Cloth Principle: Weaving Dispute into Strength

In Ghana, master weavers create kente cloth by interlacing vibrant, opposing threads—each tension contributing to the fabric’s beauty. Similarly, conflict in family enterprises isn’t a sign of failure but raw material for stronger bonds. The difference between destructive feuds and transformative collaboration lies in how tensions are woven.

Too many families fear conflict, avoiding tough conversations until small cracks become chasms. But as the Zulu say, "Izandla ziyagezana" ("Hands wash each other")—resolution requires engagement, not avoidance.

Why Conflict is Inevitable (And Necessary)

Family enterprises blend two volatile forces: emotional relationships and business logic. Clashes arise from:

Role ambiguity (e.g., "Is my sister speaking as CEO or as my elder?")
Generational divides (tradition vs. innovation)
Unspoken expectations ("Of course you’ll inherit the London property!")

Raising the Baobab frames conflict as a governance gap—a sign that systems for dialogue, decision-making, or accountability are missing.

3 African-Inspired Tools to Transform Conflict

1. The Palaver Tree Framework: Create a Safe Space for Dialogue

Inspired by: West African tradition of gathering under trees to resolve disputes.

How it works:

Designate a neutral time/place (e.g., quarterly "Family Council" meetings).
Use a talking stick (or symbolic object) to ensure equal voice.
Separate people from problems: "We’re not fighting each other; we’re fighting for the family’s future."

Example: A Nigerian manufacturing family ended a 3-year succession deadlock by adopting this practice, finally hearing the younger generation’s tech-driven vision.

2. The Ubuntu Mediation Method: Restore Shared Humanity

Inspired by: Southern Africa’s philosophy of "I am because we are."

Steps:

Name the elephant: "We all feel Uncle Kwame’s resignation hurt trust."
Shift to shared goals: "What do we all want for the business in 10 years?"
Co-create solutions: "If we disagree on dividends, let’s vote—but commit to abide by the outcome."

Tool: Family Charter Conflict Clause – Pre-agree on mediation steps (e.g., bring in an external advisor if consensus fails).

3. The Sankofa Scorecard: Learn from Past Fires

Inspired by: The Akan concept of Sankofa—"go back and fetch it" (learn from history).

Action: After resolving a conflict, conduct a retrospective:

✔ What triggered it? (e.g., undiscussed compensation policies)

✔ What worked in resolving it? (e.g., Auntie Ada’s neutral facilitation)

✔ How can we prevent repeats? (e.g., document salary benchmarks)

Case Study: A Kenyan hospitality family now revisits their "Sankofa Notes" before board meetings, reducing recurring disputes by 70%.

When Conflict Becomes a Gift

Disagreements expose cracks in your foundation—but also reveal where to reinforce. Like the baobab that grows strongest after storms, families who institutionalize conflict resolution:

Strengthen Social Capital (trust)
Sharpen Intellectual Capital (clearer policies)
Deepen Spiritual Capital (renewed purpose)

As the Ethiopian proverb goes, "When spiders unite, they can tie down a lion."

Your Next Step: From Theory to Practice

Raising the Baobab offers a full toolkit for proactive conflict design—turning tension into an engine for growth. Learn more here.

Tsitsi Mutendi is a trusted strategic governance risk advisor specializing in family businesses and family offices. Through her platform, Nhaka Legacy (http://www.nhakalegacy.com), she empowers families to implement effective governance practices. Tsitsi is also involved with African Family Firms (http://www.africanfamilyfirms.org) and shares insights on sustainability and transgenerational wealth in her podcast, Enterprising Families (https://anchor.fm/enterprisingfamilies). Her work focuses on fostering resilient family legacies and promoting sustainable practices within family enterprises.